Toad to my Snake
by SilentAssassin786
Summary: Orochimaru has a lot of regrets- not seeing Jiraiya alive one last time is his biggest. So he somehow finds himself in front of the man's grave, trying to express to him in death what he could not do when Jiraiya was amongst the living.


**Author's Note: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters**

Orochimaru clutched the sake to his heart like a mother her baby to her breast. Considering who he was dealing with, that particular allegory made sense. More accurately, whose grave he was dealing with. "No Jiraiya, I'm not sharing this. I somehow managed to hoodwink it from right under Tsunade-hime's eyes and she'll kill me if she finds out; and I know for certain that you'll snitch to her like usual. Though you probably still will end up getting beaten up by her. You always did seem to love her beatings. Not that I care. You still are annoying. Always were, always will be". But the slight mellowing of his tone and sadness behind his eyes seemed to indicate otherwise. He smirked mirthlessly "She always did love you. And you knew that as well. Yet for some reason she never realised her feelings when you were there and you never truly approached her due to some misplaced sense of not being worthy enough. So typical of you".

He settled himself down and looked at Jiraiya's grave properly for the first time. It was befitting a man of such flamboyance as the self-stylised 'Toad Sage of Myobokuzan'. He shook his head _'Really Jiraiya. Embracing your perverseness even in death'._ Adorning the man's tombstone was a naked blonde lady crudely drawn. Orochimaru had no doubt who it was, and chuckled lightly. Below, the title of each and every Icha Icha Series book was listed, including one of Jiraiya's unpublished drafts which the Yondaime's brat managed to finish. Last he'd heard, Icha Icha: AfterLife had broken all kinds of records.

Sensing he was out of options, Orochimaru unlatched the bottle and took a swig. Wiping the bitter taste from his mouth, he hissed "You fool". He took another shot to steady himself "You baka. Why did you go? You knew you wouldn't come back alive. You always were the most reckless out of us. Didn't you think about what you were leaving behind. The village, Naruto, Tsunade...me?". Yet as soon as Orochimaru asked himself that question, he knew the answer. And it was a big heavy 'YES'.

He could not remember a time when Jiraiya had not thought of anyone but himself. Back when they were genins, he would pull the longest watch for the team so the others could sleep soundly. This soon proved to be a detriment when enemies attacked, and Sarutobi-sensei would have to drug him to get the oaf to sleep.

He felt a cold icy drop echo off the sake and realised it was his own tears. It surprised him that he was still capable of such an emotion, of having any feelings. Orochimaru was a bitter old man, and he had a long list of regrets. Breaking Jiraiya's heart just before leaving the village is still on the top of that list.

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _Orochimaru turned in his attempt to sleep, having not rested for the past week. He knew it was a dangerous time, rumours about him were starting to grow and he had been issued official notices by the council to explain himself. And of course he had ignored them; he had no need of them or this village. It was just a matter of a few days._

 _He turned around to face the window and almost fell off the futon. In years to come, Orochimaru would vehemently deny making as un-masculine a noise as a high-pitched scream. But in that moment, as he saw Jiraiya edged on his window flashing that goofy smile at him, that girlish scream was all that came out of his throat._

 _He scowled at his teammate's chortling visage and threw a kunai at him, which he effortlessly dodged. "What are you doing here you fool?" he hissed._

 _As soon as he said those words, Jiraiya became uncannily serious. This piqued Orochimaru: Jiraiya was only ever serious in do or die situations or that when time he had actually tried to confess his true feelings for Tsunade, which she had cut short by announcing she was leaving the village._

 _"I've been hearing things about you" the Toad Sannin spoke vaguely._

 _Orochimaru raised an eyebrow at him. The last thing he needed was Jiraiya peeking into places his perverted mind didn't belong. "Oh really, about whom?"._

 _"Oh no one in particular" he replied nonchalantly, "just some things about an illegal underground experimentation lab below the Hokage monument'._

 _Orochimaru's mouth almost fell off his body. He warned his teammate "You shouldn't be wandering about in places you don't belong, Jiraiya"._

 _"Is it yours?" Jiraiya asked him earnestly. Orochimaru could not detect any aggression in his voice, which meant she wasn't here to kill him._

 _"That is not of importance" he tried to shoot him down._

 _"Don't bullshit me Oro"._

 _Again, he could not detect an ounce of malice in the man's voice. It amazed Orochimaru ceaselessly how this man could be so tender and gentle to his precious ones, and so dominant and punishing to his enemies the next second. He reminded Orochimaru of the seven seas- two-faced. Compassionate and nurturing to the oppressed, and merciless and unrelentingly violent against the oppressors. But still, he would have to be very convincing in his answer. Jiraiya would be able to see right through him. Besides, no intention to kill or not Jiraiya was still an extremely difficult opponent. He knew Jiraiya did not fully trust him, and he knew just the thing to disarm him._

 _So, he scrunched up his face into a smile and reassured him "You have nothing to worry about, Toad-Boy. You know I would never leave your side". Jiraiya visibly brightened after this, trusting his best friend. Jiraiya smiled at him and turned around to leave. But before leaving, he managed to torment his best friend one last time. Just before jumping off, he threw a kunai with flawless accuracy. It hit a switch, and the bright light of his apartment early blinded Orochimaru._

 _Jiraiya saluted him one last time "Adios babe" and left. Orochimaru groaned, throwing his own kunai at the switch and turning it off._

* * *

Truth is, after Tsunade had left Jiraiya had hit rock bottom. He had started drinking more and for days would not be seen in the village. But there was once aspect of the man that had endured, that was still unbreakable- his benevolence. He always put a smile on in public, but in private his face was apathetic enough to put Orochimaru to shame. Between the three of them Orochimaru had the record for most kills on missions. Tsunade had the record for most kills in a single misson, back when they had infiltrated Ame during the war. And Jiraiya...Jiraiya had the record for most lives saved during missions. Civilians and enemies alike, the man had always believed that everyone deserved another shot at life, at happiness. Except himself, that is.

Orochimaru had found himself once, just a fortnight after their teammate had deserted them. He had somehow ended up promising Jiraiya that they would always have each other's back.

And Jiraiya kept up to his word. When they battled alongside Tsunade, there were a number of times Jiraiya could've finished him off. Instead, he chose to trust him What he had done to such deep a trust, Orochimaru would never fathom.

He drained the bottle to its halfway point, gasping for breath as he came back for air. The alcohol wiped away his inhibitions, and deconstructed his elaborately contrived emotional walls. Soon, he found himself making confessions even he did not know existed within him.

"I was a fool. I dreamed a fool's dream and set about destroying what little good I had in my life to achieve it. And for that, I am truly sorry".

And because Orochimaru was so drunk off his ass, and because he was feeling extra nice today, he even added "I love you. I never said it when I have the chance, and that is something that will torture me for the rest of my days". He finished the remaining sake and got up. He almost fell back down and had to support himself on Jiraiya's grave.

By now, the tears were pouring down like raindrops. Orochimaru's shirt stained as his breath hitched. He remembered Tsunade's words _'He still believed in you, right until the end'_.

This caused Orochimaru to drop to knees, and this time he unabashedly clung to his best friend's memorial stone as he wept. "Why?" he asked in between sobs. "Why did you befriend me? Why did you believe me? What did it bring you except suffering and agony? Why Jiraiya why? Answer me damn it!". But he received no such answer from his fallen comrade. It was the first time he could remember being so weak in his life, and for once he didn't detest it.

Instead he embraced it. For once he accepted he was mortal, just like any other man. Out of the the three, only Jiraiya was truly immortal. Tsunade was old and decrepit, only having lived so long for her loved one's dreams. Orochimaru had twisted himself too much to be called 'human'. Jiraiya on the other hand did not teach studens, he raised a family. Minato, Yahiko, Konan, Nagato and Konan. Each had a part of him in them, and their name's and the old pervert's own name would be exalted in the history books. The Sannin were a mere digression at the bottom of the page.

Jiraiya would get a whole book dedicated to him, Orochimaru would make sure of that.

Once the tears subsided, he dusted himself off and stood up. The alcohol had long since left his statement, and the first moment of soberness felt like heaven. He closed hi eyes, mapping Jiraiya's grave with his long, soft fingers once last time. "I will meet you in the afterlife, brother" he whispered before leaving. It was not a longing, but a promise that one day the two brothers would be reunited.

Because in-between Hashirama and Tobirama, Hiruzen and Sarutobi, Naruto and Sasuke, Jiraiya and Orochimaru's story was the only story unfinished.

 _'I will never forget you. Because you are my best friend, my brother...the Toad to my Snake'._

* * *

 **Hey guys. This was just a random one-shot I thought out of nowhere. It just struck me that Jiraiya and Orochimaru too were best friends, and we see Orochimaru expressing sadness over his death. And then I realised how criminally underrated and untold their story is.**

 **Adios Suckers!**


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